Saturday, September 29, 2012

Can eye right? Verbosity goes bump in the night...

I can write... well?

Eye garbage-pail right down the well...

If I do write well, or well enough to continue blogging; Please be aware that I cannot spell.

Well... I can spell but I overreach at times with the big $10 words(A.N-B.) stashed in my brain from long forgotten SAT preps that I have not penned to paper or keyed to screen since I correctly darkened the ubiquitous C on my Analogies section Scan-tron form with a trusty and abused #2 writing implement.  Abused as I must have snapped the tip off 10 plus times during my happily utilized extended testing time, if your I.E.P. says you write too slow for a strict time limit just swallow the pride and put on your helmet (oh S.N.A.P.).

Anyways I wrote up a work order at the repair shop I work at this week and the only obnoxious high and mighty smart-ass in our employ who can actually back up bluster with "facts" & "history" gets it and promptly announces "Hey Dumb-ass! what is the vehicle "Perfusely" leaking?" Coolant I reply, "No its "Profusely" leaking coolant and I didn't need a fancy piece of paper to know that."  *Head Service-Counter*

Also doesn't help that my hand writing is so illegible that I'm slightly afraid you won't be able to read what I type.  Well its not that bad anymore (it was pretty F'd when they switched to cursive in 4th Grade and I reverted to the calligraphy fetal position), mainly because my mother paid and begged and fought to get me some help when i was young, anyone who has been to occupational therapy can tell you this mostly consists of playing snake.

Also on the front of I can't spell I had to stop short of auto-correcting "fetal" when the dreaded read squiggle arose, luckily for my pride I realized the "d" was silent... or invisible, and quickly backspaced before Google Chrome/ Blogger/ G+ detected it and started placing perpetual "Hooked on Phonics" Ad mob referrals in my Gmail.  This paragraph kind of got away from me, I meant to address the time I handed in a report, written by hand, in a tent, in Pembrokeshire National Park in Wales during an Archaeological -

(That I can spell b/c F' dropping the 2nd "A" as "Progressive; New, New New" American Arch. Schools Suggest, case and point, Google'd Archeology first result If Google and Wikipedia agree with you I'm pretty sure you can get a Presidential Pardon, a Nobel "You're so F'n Smart" Award, or A Grammy, Hey an Award Statue! Ohhhh, for more on this parenthetical rant see the SAA: Whyaretheretwodifferentspellingsarchaeology? Diphthong Unit! Ǽ); Boy that was long winded... spelling and run-on's my only literary weaknesses...)

*Breathe In*

...Field School.  For those not familiar with technical Archaeological terms, likely having not sold tires, automotive service and auto parts for the last 5-7 years, when studying a site you basically are collecting waste, trash, garbage... some times actual poop.  What ever you are looking for its likely in a garbage heap, if you're awesome enough to be in a Neolithic or similarly technologically armed settlement you are likely most excited to find "Debitage" (Stone tool debris), Remains (of, people, plants or animals, food, herds, pets pollen, burials all cool), "Nomisma" (ancient coins, my stolen Greek word of the day), or "be still my beating heart"... Pottery Shards!  All of these are likely to be found in the rubbish heap.  This being Great Britain, they were quite fond of terms that american Uni juniors have never heard of leaving me writing my "field report" about an item that the professor likely thought my mother pinned to my thermal every fall... Its spelled "Middens" not "Mittens"... *Head gopher-disturbed-anonymously-shagged-on Air Mattress*... p.s. If I have a kid in the North tell him to quite slouching and stop saying "Ballocks" to the head-mistress, you theoretical little cockney glimmer in my cider drunk eye... Lots of Planets have a North!...

(Did that last paragraph actally end?)

Well its 1 minute to 3am go I should probably stop incoherently prattling on about why no one should read this Ill conceived and complexly-pun titled Blog.

Times up put a Dime piece in the slot... thanks for telling me to read your blog, totally made me want to write this, I promise I will read more than 1¾ of your posts before I start another blog.

P.P.S.: I also have a YouTube Channel where I eat ill advised spicy things, and maybe more... ***Panda Vs. Food*** My Ongoing Adventures in Culinary Malfeasance...

Shout out to over used Ellipses... I interobanged your blogspace...


MJB a.k.a. The Panda... 

Why b.c. I eat lots of vegetables and enjoy monochromatism; Keeping the nickname, works at Karaoke, Last Call, for Alcohol... don't lick the frog BTW. = Rock on Tal.